I had an awesome Father’s Day here in America. We got up and had my favorite breakfast (blueberry and strawberry muffins), played with the kids and opened my gifts, went to church together, had Tropical Smoothie for lunch, spent the afternoon at Jessica’s parents house, had Bono’s Barbecue for dinner, and then spent the rest of the evening as a family at home. It was a really good and relaxed day where we just got to spend time together as a family.
Something just kept sticking in the back of my mind, and not in a way that made the day any less enjoyable. Just in a way that I hope GOD never changes. He kept calling my attention to our kids in Haiti and then to the number of children in the world who will grow up without a Dad, without a Mom, or even in an orphanage or children’s home.
I got to sit at home and give and receive attention to and from my wife and kids, but why? Why did Herbison not get to sit with his family in a nice air conditioned home, eat some great food, and give his Dad a gift that he had been saving for a special occasion such as this? Why did Yolmenda never get to know her Dad and be separated from her Mom because she could not and would not take care of her? Why does Sophie get to? Why does Elijah get to? Why does Ezekyal get to?
I also wonder why could I not do more? I have a lot to learn about being a Dad, I fail often, and trust me when I say that I have made more mistakes the past 3.5 years than many of you will make in your entire life…But I am here. And I know how to be a presence in a child’s life. Why are there are millions of children who need someone like me and there are millions of someones like me who would be more than willing to do it and yet we cannot seem to get it right. What more could I do, what more could you do, how can we fight for children who cannot fight for themselves?
Why did I get to have one? A dad I mean, and a good one. I wonder how much different my life would be, my worldview would be, or if I would even know Jesus without the parents that I have. On top of that, why did I get to have a Dad who was always there for me? Why did I have a Dad who taught me how to play sports and helped me to learn to be good at math? Why was I blessed to have not just one, but two really good parents?
How can I be a better one? I wish it was as simple as just showing up, but if you are a parent you know that it is not. Like many of you, I try to be a good Dad and I make mistakes every single day, so how can I be a better one? Do you know the answer. I can be a better one if I am trying to be more like Christ. If I am spending time every single day on my knees in prayer for my kids. I could, like so many things in my life, try to be the best Dad I can be. Or I could do the smart thing and work on my relationship with Jesus, strive to be more and more like Christ, and lift my kids up every day to the GOD of the universe.
The main thing I learned is that I do not want GOD to take these thoughts and experiences away from me. I do not want to go back to a time when I did not think about others in the midst of a holiday or celebration. I am glad that there is a tension inside of me that asks these questions while enjoying a beautiful day. I do have a new prayer now…I am asking GOD to help me stop asking questions and figure out what He wants me to do…Join me in this prayer and let’s see where GOD leads a bunch of imperfect people who want to be used for His glory.